2006 MTV VMA's = FLOP

Aight well, I know I've been M.I.A. for lil bit but I was too busy getting messed up during Labor Day Weekend and among many other things, seeing world famous DJ Tiesto spin an amazing thizz-face rocking set. As well as missing blog postings, I also missed the MTV VMA's until this afternoon thanks to MTV having a lack of quality, original programming, and having most of its airtime being composed of reruns. So here is my play-by-play of the awards and what I thought of them (as if anyone cared)...

-Justin Timberlake: I was honestly feeling this performance, especially with Timbaland in there, until he started his lame ass wannabe beat boxing shit again, then I wanted to shoot him in the head. Timbaland should of known to tell him not to pull that wack shit during rehearsals. And I'm calling it now, "Bringin sexy back" is already an overused term and should be stopped now early because its a stupid ass saying and my grandma has already placed it into her vocabulary.
-Jack Black: Lame ass host, his jokes sucked and he needed to die and go away after his last movie Nacho Libre bombed as a Napoleon Dynamite copycat. I guess since it was a MTV movie though MTV gave him the host position ahead of time and didn't have time or the ability to back out and get someone better to host this year (for example: Dave Chappelle, Sarah Silverman, Dane Cook, etc.)
-Best Male: It was good to see Lil Kim up there, I thought the costume change was entertaining and I don't care what people have been saying, I would hit it right now with all the meat still on her, she don't need to lose any weight. The award was lame itself having James Blunt's overplayed and annoying song winning. Should of been T.I., Kanye, or my personal deserved winner, Busta.
-Best Hip Hop: First off, Andre 3000 looked like an idiot in that getup. Also I have no fucking clue what is the difference between this award and Best Rap. I mean I get the difference between hip-hop and rap, but I don't get MTV's standards for seperating the two at all. And BEP should def not have won. I woulda picked Three 6 Mafia, even though they would of been better off in the Rap category logically, so I guess logically Common actually should of won. And WTF is that Rompe shit doing even getting nominated. Horrible song, video, and artist right there.
-Best Female: I really didn't care who won, although I will admit that in respect to winner Kelly Clarkson, I would def hit it.
-Ludacris & Pharrell: Went off with their performance like I knew they would. Release Theraphy is gonna be a contender for Hip-Hop album of the year for sure. However I don't get why the PCD went out there also, they could of had any 7 hot video hoes go out there also and it would of had the same effect for less costs.
-Best Dance: Jessica Simpson once again proves how fuckin' retarded she is and she's lucky she is as hot as she is. I didn't care who won this category at all, I guess you could of said that the appearance of the PCDs with Luda was foreshadowing though, however its sad that groups like PCD are "award-winning" these days. Didn't they used to just be strippers in Vegas???
-OK Go: Probably the best part of the whole show. If you say you don't like this then you're a fuckin idiot and are just lying. Granted its gimmicky but its a damn good one and it at least shows that the world of "mainstream" music isn't totally unoriginal and worthless nowadays.
-AAR: I'll admit it, I jammed these dudes when they FIRST came out with their first album many years ago. I dig the song "Move Along" as a guilty pleasure also and there could of been way worse bands for MTV to chose to play in place of them. They did however sound terrible live and not as good as the CD.
-Best Pop: I normally wouldn't care about this category but I find Pink to be realer than most pop stars out there today (even though thats basically her "fake gimmick") and thought her "speech" was funny and sort of ironic in that it was probably loosely making fun of Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton and the whole time Nick Lachey and Nicole Richie were both standing in the background. All in all, I found the irony of the situation to be way more humorous than any of the swing-and-miss jokes of Jack Black that night.
-Best Rap: Being from Houston and the fact that I've been jamming Chamil since his very first flow back in 98, this shit was huge for me and I thought he was real as shit with the R.I.P.'s to Fat Pat, H.A.W.K., and Screw and this was the only award that MTV got right. Maybe I'm partial but to me the deserves it more than anyone else and like I said in my last post, the dude is top 5, he's too versatile, and won't be stopped anytime soon.
-Beyonce: It's a hot joint, noone can deny that, but like everyone has been saying already, she jacked Britney's entrance and outfit and Janet's moves. And to me her eyes looked like she was high as fuck or drunk or on something. She just didn't look good to me for some reason because of her eyes and she normally looks hot as hell to me.
-T.I.: Maybe I am unfairly hating on him, but I thought his performance sucked and was wack having 100 kids doing the gay ass snap dance, one of the worst things created by hip-hop this year. And with Chamil winning best rap video I don't think the dude can claim "King" anymore. To me he never was and hopefully now the stupid nickname will stop since Chamil has proven he is better all around as a southern rapper. And I wasn't feeling the Young Dro spot either.
-Best Group: First off, Jared Leto is a wannabe and only dresses that way and looks that way cause he thinks 14 year olds will buy his shitty band's music. People like him have ruined rock. As have AAR, who won the award and looked like total drunken idiot frat freshmen who can't even hold their liquor and act normal for 5 seconds. I bet the dude was dead sober and just wanted to give the impression he was wasted and a "rockstar" when in reality from what I hear he just likes to get 18 year olds drunk and take advantage of them.
-Best Ringtone: For one, Rihanna is NOT hot, her forehead is huuuuuuuge. All she has are pretty eyes and those can be bought by anyone nowadays. And this is one of the dumbest awards I've ever heard of but I guess record companies have to sell these now cause they can't sell records. And I don't get why Chamil wasn't even nominated for this stupid award, wasn't he like the first dude to sell a million ringtones? Oh well, moving on....
-Panic! At The Disco: This is one of the worst bands I've seen in a long ass time. For those that don't know they got a record deal with Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz's label without ANY experience of playing live. The song repeats the same lines over and over and the dude couldn't sing or play live at all. Horrible, worst part of the whole VMA's in my opinion.
-Best New Artist: FYI, Fergie is 31 and to me that is TOO OLD to be having a song about fellatio but whatever. Avenged Sevenfold.....I don't need to say anything to hate on these dudes because they basically do it themselves.
-Best R&B: Its obvious that Brit and KFed didn't show up in person because they probably would of been boo'ed and shit. And as a H-Town representer I gotta love the fact that Slim and Beyonce won. Slim Thug is one big ass dude, he coulda been a bodyguard had he not gotten a good rap career going. I'm just glad Jamie Foxx didn't win because his ego is already too big for no reason. Speaking of ego...
-Vanguard: Now first off Kanye is so into himself and so annoying its disgusting (plus isn't his chain copying Pharrell's?). The way he talks its like he thinks he should already be winning this award. I hope his next album flops cause his last one wasn't as great as everyone thought it was, on the real. Its awesome that Hype won though. Being the white suburban wannabe thug 80s kid that I am, I literally was raised on Hype Williams videos and I feel that he was probably the biggest and one of the most influential "filters" for how white kids saw black culture in the past decade if you think about and analyze it. Missy in the Jeep was hilarious as well and this to me was the most heartfelt and one of the best parts of the whole show.
-Christina: Not much to say on this other than I thought it was a great performance, she looked hot, and she is arguably one of the best singers out right now.
-Tenacious D: just plain awful and not funny at all. Oh yeah and BEP took part in the whole "act" thereby proving even more that they are sellouts and will do anything for money nowadays.
-The rest of the awards including the big final best video of the year award are all a big joke and pretty much sum up the whole theme of this year's show and how bad it sucked so I'm not even gonna comment on them further.

Thats about it for the VMA play-by-play. Overall it sucked and has been getting worse and worse every year, just like music and hip-hop is. Lets hope next year is better as is the state of hip-hop and music altogether. Now I'm off to watch the new episode of Nip/Tuck because TV (besides realityTV) on the other hand is on the up and up.
Deuce, j.